“Water is the driving force of all nature.”– Leonardo da Vinci
(Tiny heads up: This will be the most risque post so far, but hey, you are married; God approves.)
Marriages need water just as much as gardens do. Without water, plants die. Water gives the plants nourishment and causes growth. Without water, the plants fight to survive, but ultimately turn brown and shrivel up before dying. All that remains of a once healthy plant is a yellow-brown vine that is brittle to the touch. The vine resembles an earth worm that was unable to make it back to the dirt before the sun baked him onto the sidewalk. The shell remains, but the life of the plant is gone.
Now, when I say marriages need water, I don’t mean drinking the eight recommended glasses of water a day. I mean, marriage needs nourishment. Nourishment, in terms of marriage, is acts of kindness or intimacy that promotes growth. Acts of kindness do go a long way when promoting growth in a marriage, but honestly, intimacy is the key factor in promoting growth. Without intimacy, you are missing a deeper connection with your partner. It is important, however, not to confuse intimacy with sex. Sex is just one type of intimacy. I can buy my husband Reece peanut butter cups once a week, and while that will make him feel happy towards me, that happiness is surface level. Intimacy is the water of marriage that brings nutrition to the roots.
To me, touch and sight are two of the engaging ways to promote intimacy. Trae and I take showers today, and while we don’t do hanky-panky, we still have the closeness of being together in the shower. Out bodies touch, and we also all Adam and Eve (aka naked). Sleeping Adam and Eve style is another great way to promote intimacy. (For the winter, just invest in some warm fleece sheets!) Laying in bed snuggling (if the jealous cat will let you get close enough to snuggle) and talking is the best way to unwind after a hectic day of teaching. Obviously sex is another way to promote intimacy; sex. to me, is the ultimate way to express intimacy. However, that level of intimacy is made stronger when the couple is being intimacy on several levels.
Now if A&E style with the goodies hanging out isn’t your style, there are other ways to promote intimacy. I am also a spoiled wife and Trae rubs my feet every night; the touch of his hands makes me feel at ease every night. His touch makes me feel close to him. Cooking is another way to create intimacy with your spouse. I love the way the smells engulf the kitchen; the aroma hugs you as the two of you work together. The best part of cooking together: eating together! Special dates can also promote intimacy, but do not confuse special date with expensive. Yes, a fancy meal share in a candle-lite booth is romantic and intimate, but enjoying a canoe ride or hike are also intimate. Seeing an expanse of mountains before me serves as a reminder to that we do truly believe in an awesome God and how lucky I am be able to see and rejoice in His creations with my husband.
A good way to promote to promote intimacy is to ask your spouse what he/ she enjoys and use those things promote intimacy. Do you enjoy to read? Well, then maybe you and your spouse can read together while snuggling on the couch. Be creative and find an level of intimacy you are both comfortable with.