Knowing When to Turn Off the Water Hose

We have had a lot of ran lately. Living in the flatland is a new experience. Water has no where to roll and just stands in its place. Little droplet soldiers falling down in battalions and attacking unexpecting Lieutenant Lettuce and Sargent Spinach.

After a heavy rain, Trae debates whether or not to water the garden. With so much rain, Trae has to be cautious and not over water the garden. While water provides a way for the plants to grow, too much water and the plants can drown. We have already had to replant the garden once due to the rain.

Marriage can also be drowned even when a spouse is trying to do what is best for the marriage. Sometimes a spouse will compromise too much. A person who constantly compromises is not being true to herself and will find herself drowning, losing who she is. When someone loses herself, then the marriage has lost part of its foundation. A marriage happens when two people become one; not when one person overshadows another person.

If you realize that you are someone who constantly compromises, work on improving communication. See if your church as any special events for couples; Dan Allender has some great programs and many times churches will have special Sunday school classes based of his teaching. (You might even want to buy one of his books and work through it as a couple.) Also make time for yourself so you don’t lose yourself in the marriage. Some ways to make time for yourself can be:

  • Sign up for a class or activity outside of the house. Micheal’s Craft Store always has something go on; I loved their cake classes. Check out local playhouses for auditions. Maybe yoga. Trae plays hockey every Monday night.
  • Set a timer for an hour. Make sure your spouse knows that you cannot be interrupted during that hour, even to answer the dreaded “Where is….” question! During that hour do whatever you want: bake, read, write, take a bubble bath until you are all pruney.
  • Take yourself on a “Me Party.” (A happier version of Amy Adams’ in the Muppet Movie.) Go to dinner and movie. Maybe a museum. Just make it a date for yourself. My favorite date is a walk in the woods. I just to love going to Biltmore (pictured below) and walk in their gardens followed by coffee and dessert!

No matter what you choose to do, just make sure you do something that you for you!

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