Trae and I went out of town last weekend to my best friend Meredith’s birthday party. (I have known her since the sixth grade and have been on multiple vacations with her family.) She always throws elaborate themed parties and encourages party-goers to dress up according to the theme. This year the theme was Movie Masquerade, and I was very excited because I got to dress up with Trae. (My dates for last year’s party, which was eighties themed, were epic puffy sleeves. Literally I felt like I was flanked by two metallic green aliens all night. It was amazing.)
We decided to go as Jack and Rose from Titanic. I *might* have been in high school when the movie first came out, and I *might* have seen it either two or three times in theater. (In my defense, I had a fascination with the Titanic’s history years before the movie came out, but also I had a love affair with Rose’s clothes in the movie.)
When it was time for junior prom that year, I went shopping with Meredith to find the perfect dress. We even had a theme song for the shopping trip.
Please sing this song to the tune of “Deck the Halls”:
Deck the stores with puffy dresses
fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la
Tis the season to go prom shopping
accessorize accessorize accessorize
Now all she needs is a date
fal lal lal lal lal lal lal la LA
(The capital LA is to indicate a grand finale.)
Anyways, we shoved a ton of dresses into a refrigerator-box-sized dressing room at JC Penny’s, and I emerged in amidst of all the poof dressed as Rose from Titanic. I was in love, and it was my prom dress. Sadly enough I think I had the “perfect dress moment” more with this prom dress than I did with my own wedding dress. No Joke. I loved, and still love, the dress. I promise though that I did not go overboard with the Titanic theme; I did not wear the heart of the ocean with the dress to prom. This past weekend was the first time I had ever worn a heart of the ocean with that dress, and I find any chance I can to wear that dress. (Next Throw Back Thursday: Titanic Memorial Dinner and epic dress wearing.)
Moving on….I ordered my heart of the ocean from eBay, and Trae printed the iconic Rose sketch and put it in a sketch book he carried with him all night. To be honest, I think he really enjoyed “flashing” people at the party. Overall the party was a lot of fun, and Trae had a great time. He was apprehensive at first since he didn’t know a lot of Meredith’s friends. I think the fact that The Princess Bride was being played against the side of Meredith’s house was a big plus for him! A bunch of the guys, including Trae, stood around quoting along with the movie.
The next morning we woke up before the rest of the crashing guests and quietly went down stairs to make coffee. Knowing Meredith’s kitchen I busied myself with the coffee while Trae gave me an odd look.
T: “Whose Jared?”
T: “Jared. You two seemed to really know each other. Something about waffles and other jokes.”
C: Looks at husband like he has lost some screws, marbles, or both.
T: “You seemed close.”
C: laughing “That is Meredith’s little brother!!”
T: suddenly looks relieved “Oh. Now it makes sense.”
It had not dawned on me once to introduce Trae last night to Jared; Jared who gave me a bear hug as soon as he saw me, Jared who shook Trae’s hand and said Hey Trae!, Jared who came to our wedding, Jared who I’ve known for years. I just assumed that Trae knew who he was. I mean come on, the guy was at our wedding. Obviously Trae should know all the people that my side of the family invited to the wedding even though I will still ask, Who is that again? when looking at the photo album.
It was shocking to realize how even after almost of four years of marriage Trae didn’t know significant people, events, or things from my life. He had heard the story a thousand times of how Jared would jokingly demand I make him waffles to earn my keep during family vacations, but when faced with the person of the story, he didn’t make the connection. In marriage, you cannot assume that your significant other knows all about you. We have a life time of memories before marriage, and we spend the years after marriage making joint memories. We just assume that the familiar things in our life are also familiar to our spouse, but they are not. Years after marriage, you will find yourself continually learning new things–happy or sad– about your spouse, and those constant revelations is what makes marriage so special. One of my favorite things to do is pull out the game Chat Pack, which is a small box with cards. (Amazon has a bunch of different sets.) Each card has a question, anywhere from embarrassing moments to being at the right place at the right time. Long car trips and sitting around the fire pit are a great time to play this game and learn new things about your spouse. (I just learned that Trae was pants’d in middle school by his friend on the way home thanks to Chat Pack.)
Back in Meredith’s kitchen, a relieved looking Trae pulled me close to him and looked lovingly into my eyes.
“I love you.”
I nuzzled my head on his shoulder and gave him a big hug. Trae said sweetly, “I do love you.”
I mumbled back, “I love you too.” Apparently my nuzzling and mumbling was not the from-the-bottom-of-the-heart “I love you” exchange Trae was looking for.
Trae: “Hey, look into my eyes, I just want you….
Cutting him off, “I know, you love me but morning breath and sweet nothings don’t go together.”
Trae laughing, “Oh, yeah. Good point. “
At that moment, I knew I was married to my life partner, bad breath and all.