I got married on July 31, 2010, in Spartanburg, SC to a wonderful man. Planning my wedding was stressful (one day I will tell you the tale of the how I ended up with three wedding dresses), and in my mind, marriage could not be nearly as stressful as wedding planning. I could not imagine that just a month into my marriage I would be crying over the bills, wondering why my husband’s best friend showed up every weekend to play video games, and trying to sneak another new pair of shoes into the apartment. We had had pre-martial counseling, so why was marriage so hard? Why did I want to move back into my small, crummy, out-dated apartment and just return my husband to boyfriend status? It was because I was letting the vow days outshine and outweigh the wow days. To understand vow days and wow days, I have to tell you about my bachelorette party.
I didn’t have a typical bachelorette party; no phallic symbols, heavy drinking, etc. I did have a crown and sash that said Bride-to-Be. The whole wedding party went downtown Greenville, SC. The boys went one way and the girls went another with plans to reconvene for pool and darts later. The girls and I went to a dance club, but quickly left to go to a low key wine bar. When we left the wine bar to meet up with the boys, an intoxicated woman yelled out to me.
Woman (loudly): Are you getting married?!?!
Me (taken back slightly): Yes! In two weeks!
Woman: I have the best advice!
Me (still friendly but skeptical): Awesome! What it is?
Woman: Just remember there will be WOW days and there will be VOW days. Remember that and you will be just fine.
Me (stunned by her wisdom): Thank you! I will remember that! Thank you!
Those woman’s words have stuck with me ever since I said I do, and I pass those words along to friends who are getting married. I can say that after three and half years of marriage, that advice was the truest and most honest thing I heard before going down the aisle. Many times people are quick to say marriage is wonderful and fabulous (which it is), but are hesitant to admit that marriage is hard and tiresome as well. I think that in order to have a successful marriage couples must realize they must weather the vow days and seek the wow in everyday moments. A cup of coffee in a to-go mug for you take to work? That is a wow moment. Noticing your husband’s snotty tissues around the house? That is a vow moment.
This blog seeks to help couples understand the vow days and how to enhance the wow days. After three and half years of marriage, I might not be an expert, but I know that my husband and I, myself, have a lot of advice and stories to share. So here is to making more WOW days and surviving the VOW days.