Monthly Archives: March 2014

Throw Back Thursday

Odd that my second post would be a Throw Back post since really I don’t have any posts to throw back from. Yet, in a way, I find a Throw Back post fitting. A large part of this blog consists of looking back at my three and half years of marriage and discussing the wows and vows of marriage.

One of the most important things I have learned during my marriage is not to wait for the wow days, but instead create them in everyday little moments. It is amazing how a little thing can change your whole day from a vow to a wow. One of my favorite examples of turning an ordinary day (neither wow or vow, just eh) comes for early on in our marriage.

My husband and I are very blessed by having loving friends and family. I was humbled and overwhelmed when the outpouring of love started to come in material formats, known as wedding gifts. One day a mysterious box appeared and it was filled with delightful pasta, a wedding gift from a friend who did a reading at our wedding and who I had also traveled to Italy with. The box contained chocolate linguine (wonderfully delicious with a raspberry sauce and home-made whip cream) and lime, mango, chili shells.

In the early days of our marriage back in 2010, we celebrated the little milestones. A year seemed like a far off, yet exciting milestone, so we celebrated little ones, which is an important to do for a marriage to keep it health. For our one month anniversary, we made lamb ragu and finished the meal by watching the wedding video as we slurped down chocolate linguine Lady and the Tramp style. The other pasta was going to be consumed on another special occasion. The occasion, however, never came. Six month anniversary brought steak and a mini-wedding cake dessert.

A Tuesday about eight months into our marriage came along, and I came home hungry and happy. We had left over chicken in the fridge and salsa in the pantry. The lime, mango, chili shells pasta was in a pot of boiling water in a matter of moments.

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Sitting at the table with my husband made me realize we cannot wait for the special moments, because even the ordinary moments are extraordinary. In marriage, we must be willing to find the extraordinary,because the covenant of marriage is extraordinary. Couples stand up before God, family, and friends and promise to love one other for better and for worse. Promising to love someone even when that person is sick, depressed, or forgetful is hard and if we continually focus on the negative or wait to get dressed up in a cocktail dress to feel wow, then we miss the little moments that make a marriage. If we had been waiting for that “special day” that delicious meal would have gone unmade; the pasta would have still been sitting in our pantry. Instead, an ordinary Tuesday ended up being the perfect day.

What are other ways that couples can turn the ordinary into a wow?

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March 20, 2014 · 6:56 pm

Welcome to Wows and Vows

I got married on July 31, 2010, in Spartanburg, SC to a wonderful man. Planning my wedding was stressful (one day I will tell you the tale of the how I ended up with three wedding dresses), and in my mind, marriage could not be nearly as stressful as wedding planning. I could not imagine that just a month into my marriage I would be crying over the bills, wondering why my husband’s best friend showed up every weekend to play video games, and trying to sneak another new pair of shoes into the apartment. We had had pre-martial counseling, so why was marriage so hard? Why did I want to move back into my small, crummy, out-dated apartment and just return my husband to boyfriend status? It was because I was letting the vow days outshine and outweigh the wow days. To understand vow days and wow days, I have to tell you about my bachelorette party.

I didn’t have a typical bachelorette party; no phallic symbols, heavy drinking, etc. I did have a crown and sash that said Bride-to-Be. The whole wedding party went downtown Greenville, SC. The boys went one way and the girls went another with plans to reconvene for pool and darts later. The girls and I went to a dance club, but quickly left to go to a low key wine bar. When we left the wine bar to meet up with the boys, an intoxicated woman yelled out to me.

Woman (loudly): Are you getting married?!?!
Me (taken back slightly): Yes! In two weeks!
Woman: I have the best advice!
Me (still friendly but skeptical): Awesome! What it is?
Woman: Just remember there will be WOW days and there will be VOW days. Remember that and you will be just fine.
Me (stunned by her wisdom): Thank you! I will remember that! Thank you!

Those woman’s words have stuck with me ever since I said I do, and I pass those words along to friends who are getting married. I can say that after three and half years of marriage, that advice was the truest and most honest thing I heard before going down the aisle. Many times people are quick to say marriage is wonderful and fabulous (which it is), but are hesitant to admit that marriage is hard and tiresome as well. I think that in order to have a successful marriage couples must realize they must weather the vow days and seek the wow in everyday moments. A cup of coffee in a to-go mug for you take to work? That is a wow moment. Noticing your husband’s snotty tissues around the house? That is a vow moment.

This blog seeks to help couples understand the vow days and how to enhance the wow days. After three and half years of marriage, I might not be an expert, but I know that my husband and I, myself, have a lot of advice and stories to share. So here is to making more WOW days and surviving the VOW days.

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